My Resignation Letter

Dear Friends,

I write this post to inform you that I have turned in my resignation as pastor of Gainesville First UMC. The last six years have been a fantastic experience. 

I have enjoyed wearing a gorilla suit when the opportunity has come around. 

The highlight of my ministry experience was jumping off the dock at the lakeside in the winter. But unfortunately, my toes have never recovered. 

I enjoyed having fireworks shot at me when I was in Honduras. I was prepared to see more than the sky light up on New Year’s Eve! 

The experience of removing snakes from lakeside worship and honeybees from the scout lodge has been rewarding. It will prepare me for my next adventure of working in a zoo or being a snake-handling preacher - I haven’t decided yet. 

We learned that squirrels don’t just go to church in Mississippi. Georgia squirrels attend church as well. 

I will never forget walking into my office and being surrounded by pictures of feet - in my desk drawers, on my chair, under my computer, all over my bookshelf, and taped on my closet door. I know the goal was to cure my repulsiveness toward feet - sorry, it didn’t work! 

Gainesville First has been a great place to serve. It was just too fun! 

Therefore, I am turning in my resignation letter and applying for a position at the Atlanta Zoo or a Podiatrist office. I feel I am qualified for both. 

Plus, without my position, Gainesville First UMC will be able to purchase the new organ that shoots out fire, plays Methodist hymns with a Pentecostal tune, shapes a new hairstyle, and gives a pedicure to the one playing. Master Organist Keith Jeffcoat likes it.  

Sincerely, 

Jamey (i.e., former pastor, currently zoo handler, or podiatrist office help - can’t decide). 

Check out the picture of the new organ